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it's nandra. they also call her nashz, the history of such name is way too long to elaborate in this little space. she's seventeen. she's a she. she lives a typical metropolitan lifestyle in the capital of Indonesia. she's currently in her senior year of high school, enduring the second and last year of IB Diploma Programme that's totally ruining her life slowly. but she thinks the whole suffering would give her some sort of advantage in the (scarily) near future. she's a CISVer and lovin' every bit of it. oh, she also very much enjoys mango juice, she'd even prefer it than OJ haha. and while we're at it, yes, she might be random from time to time. she wishes you'd be quite patient about it. :)

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Tuesday, February 17, 2009 // 10:51 PM

i wonder how hard it is for me to get things done nowadays. i mean, seriously.

i have things all carefully planned. i tried, but to actually DO it is the hardest part of all planning stages.

i have heaps of things to submit in a matter of days. this week is seriously hectic. but i didn't manage to get a single thing done.

and when things aren't done i get frantic and frustrated.

and when i get frantic and frustrated, i malfunction.

and when i malfunction, i'm not able to do anything.

it's a devil's circle, really.

ofuck.

i used to find it rather ~~easy~~, well ok not easy, but not that hard either, to write essays. ideas use to pour out of my head and straight to my pen so easily. but not lately. i've been trying to write the TOK essay and i've got the ideas alright. but i can't seem to write it all down.

don't get me wrong, despite the boring class, i like TOK, it's a very interesting subject.

but yeah, i dunno.

maybe i overthink things? my mom thinks i'm a perfectionist. well i dont think so, coz i dont want things to be perfect, i just want to get it done.

how can i be a perfectionist when i can't get things done right?

gaaaah. this is crazy.

and random too.

it's a devil's circle i tell you.

and i'm right in the center, with no way out.

Labels: random rants