Thursday, January 29, 2009 // 11:36 PM
this is crazy. my laziest state of all laziness.
well more of tiredness i guess.
i mean seriously.
it just keeps piling and piling.
i'm fuckin overwhelmed of the enormity of my not-so-long to-do list.
and i've been writing so much less lately. not school stuffs, but for myself, for my enjoyment.
i haven't finished the hopefully-god-awesome story ive been working on. i havent opened the file for months, weeks, days.
i can't seem to get myself to it.
i can't write poems lately.
heck, i can't even write a decent blog post.
i'm scared.
scared that i'll lose it, then i'll lose me. it's a part of me and i'm so so so scared that it'll be gone then i won't know what i'm supposed to do anymore. i won't know where to go.
ughh. nonetheless, i sometimes wish i could do something that doesn't require any thinking. i wished that my brain would just fall into static silence and become inactive. not that i want to be brain dead or anything, god no. i'd just want to not think about anything. i'd like to lie in bed all day long.
but then i'd be lonely.
and i'd want someone to be beside me.
yeah.
that'll be a nice way to unwind. stay in bed and talk to a friend all day.
hmmm.
or...
sometimes i'd like to wander around the streets with no destination. just walk. turn left or right whenever i feel like it. who knows, maybe i'd find something interesting, that i've never knew it to be interesting.
although it would be a bit scary if i ever get lost.
hmmm.
i feel melancholic.
i dont know why.
i'm startin to think this is stupid. very stupid, in fact.
maybe...
maybe i'm just lonely here at home :(
Labels: Thoughtful Thoughts
Wednesday, January 28, 2009 // 9:02 PM
omg omg omg omg.
i messed up my previous template.
now i gotta start all over again.
this is karma.
should've stopped complaining haha. :p
gw pengen teriak2. tapi gak mungkin disini bisa dikira kesurupan gw ntar.
JADI.
gw memutuskan untuk teriak2 di post ini ajah.
nah lho, gmana bisa triak2 di blog?
YA PAKE TULISAN GEDE2 LAH!!
bayangin aja skarang gw lagi triak2. susah.
ok. here goes.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
ANJRIT GILAAAAA KOK KERJAAN GW BANYAK BANGET YAAAAAA???!!!!
ADA APA INI DENGAN DUNIAAAA???!!!!!
GIMANA CARANYA GW BISA NYELESAIIN SMUA INI ON TIMEEE???
GIMANAAA????!!!!!
GIMANAAAAAAAAAAAAA????!!!!!
untuk menangkap suasana histeria ini, gw warnain merah lho! hahahah.
oh, jeez i've got to find something else to complain about huhu.
udah ah. got bahasa presentation tmrw.
OMFGZZ.
wish me luck. :)
yes i'm still up. and yes, i got school in approximately 4.5 hours.
and while you're at it, i'm developing carpal tunnel syndrome from doing the lord of the flies booklet since 10pm. oh wow. dilligent, nandra.
if you're trying to work out a reason to why i'm still up at 2:30 in the morning (which i know you dont. duh, why would you bother?), well it's probly the red bulls (still) on action. ha ha. laugh people, laugh.
so anyways guys, being the dilligent student that i am, the above title is actually a quote from lotf (in which i have highlighted in blue, again, not that it's important.) but i found eternal relevance (please do laugh, my fellow english a2 friends, it's sort of an inside joke, no? haha), in that quotation.
i mean, all things break. arms, legs, glass, everything. but that we know what make it break. but what about like, hearts? and just certain situations breaking into turmoil? what made it break? in lotf case, it's because of that asshole jack. but in the real world? and no, don't give me humankind's essential illnes for an answer.
hmmm. maybe it's just us?
oh fuck, i'm using a lotf quotation.
GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
but otherwise, maybe it's true.
ugh, i'm all fucked up in my head. it's probly sleep calling my name (wth?).
cya tmrw peepz.
Labels: Thoughtful Thoughts, When Nandra Gets Philosophical
Monday, January 19, 2009 // 10:23 PM
omfg, i've been researching for arts and it is ENDLESS. i really dont understand why. IAs are piling up. i feel like dying.
Saturday, January 17, 2009 // 10:03 PM
i'm as ecstatic as a 3-year-old who just got her new toy. and indeed i did! i got my oktomat todaaaaay!! woot woot oh yeah wooooo!!
it as a bit coincidental btw. i went to pp for adhyt's bday. before that i went to aksara with the others for bit. i spotted an oktomat in the lomo display shelf thingy. and i just knew that was mine haha. yaiyalah gw dah pesen dr desember... i was kinda pissed at aksara for not contacting me or anything about the oktomat. i mean, i ordered it last month, if it's here they should've contacted me right away. what if i didnt come to aksara today?? someone could've took it. i mean, the person there doesnt even know if that oktomat is my order or not. argh.
oh well enough ramblings. i got it already and that's what matters haha. can't wait to see how it turns out. though i've done a mistake among all mistakes which is taking pictures indoors which supposedly would turn all dark and ugly. oops. :s
oh well. i'm so excited to finally get that. i've been wanting a lomo for a really long time. and i finally got it! yeaaaaayy!
hmmm what else to tell.
oh yeah adhyt's bday was fun. ate tons of sushi haha. thanks dhyt, happy seventeen forever :)
then we watched yes man! haha it was funny. a good way to spend the weekend after five days (read: torturous weekdays) filled with tasks and IAs and other shitz i'd rather not talk about haha.
well i guess i'm off now. getting tired haha
c yew!
have a nice weeked! :D
Monday, January 12, 2009 // 11:50 PM
hey so guess what. i finally did some homeworks. HA! ain't procrastinating no more. haha
well i did finish up (as in, written in down in my oh-so-not-very-neat handwriting, decorated the paper, nearly burned it etc etc etc) one of my researches for art and the draft of economics IA.
so the positive me is saying: good nandra, good progress. you've still got the decency to try and catch things up
yet the negative me is saying: hey you smartass there's still a lot of work to do don't feel so ecstatic yet ya fool
i know right, negative me is so fugly and i wish it DIES.
yes, it's the tired brain talking haha.
oh oh here's a funny thing. so i'm like, done with my econs IA draft shizzits, and i'm ready to send it to ms. b so she can check it fast. but guess what. i forgot her email adress. very good nandra. some progress. haha. oh well.
MOVING ON
so hey hey guess watz pipols, my bday's coming up soon. u yeay. i'll be 16. should i be excited to get older or more miserable?
hmm, well guess what i'll be miserable later, now i'm gonna be all excited for prezzies mwahahahha. not that i'm expecting you to get me these things (or any presents at all, that is) but if you are kindhearted enough and think that i do deserve a present, yet you have no friggin idea what to get me, why don't i provide you with a list of what i want for my birthdaaaay! nice, no?? and i'll even put pictures! so it looks good and interesting in my blog and you'll know what the thing looks like!
ok so here goes.
NANDRA'S BDAY WISHLIST (in no particular order):
1. Ladyhawke's CD
(awesome artist yo! my current fave haha)
2. Paper Towns by John Green
(pleaaaaasee?? :p)
3. Alphabeat's CD
4. Revelations - a Blue Bloods Novel by Melissa de la Cruz
5. Pop Art Book
6. The Complete Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
7. LOMO Diana F+
(couldn't resist. i've seen the how it turns out like and fell in love with it haha)
8. your loves and hugs
(this'll be really priceless :)
orite people that's all from me todaaay. i'm gonna crash.
gnite!
Sunday, January 11, 2009 // 4:41 PM
i'm back!! woot woot. was in bali for a week and it was amaziiing haha. i'll always love bali haha.
quick updatez! to lazy for long posts.
1. bali was awesomeness! menjangan island is definitely an amaaazing diving spot! :D
2. I HAVE NOT FINISHED LORD OF THE FLIES. omfg i'm screwed. and i haven't even touched the booklet. hmmph might as well jump of the window *lebay.
3. i read blue bloods by melissa de la cruz ystrday. found it in bali haha. i finished it in one day and it is very very cool. i like it better that twilight, even. i mean if i was a vampire, i wouldn't want to be one of the cullens, i want to be a blue blood. oh yeah.
4. i wonder why i can finish blue bloods in one day but not lord of the flies. and i had well over a month to read that bloddy thing. oh well, sparknotes it is then hahaha. :D
5. i just realised school starts tomorrow and i still havent got things done. oh yeah. consider my future bleak.
6. CASH CASH JUST RELEASED AN ALBUM!! OH OH OH YEAAAAAHHH!!
i think i'll end my post here. better finish my school shizzits. see yew.
Thursday, January 01, 2009 // 1:17 PM
today is the first day in the first month of 2009. hmm, so many firsts experienced today.
i watched the first sunrise of 2009 in my first car ride home of 09. haha. it's funny when i witnessed the sun rising, it was not just a begining of a new day, but a whole new year.
so when i get home, i took my first shower of 09 at 6am. as i washed my hair, i thought about the things i would like to wash away from the past year. the pain and the mistakes i made, especially. but i also thought how i wanted to hold on to some things. although i know it would or at least might bring me a series of disappointment. but then i thought, everything -- every decision i'd make, big or small -- would have some kind of consequences, it's inevitable not to. and i'd just have to endure it. there a whole new year ahead, and i'm bracing for not just satisfaction, but also bitter things. afterall, life is bittersweet. like dark chocolate, it's bitter yet we savour every bite of it :)
there are some things i learned the past 2008, and i'd like to think of what i've been through and felt and cried and laughed for as a guide for this new year. a guide to understand and expect consequences.
of course i'm not only hoping for all those. i'm hoping for a lot of things. i want to spend every single minute surrounded by my loving friends and family. there'll be jagged roads, but i know it'll be worth it. :)
oh, my new year's eve?
i went to tante tetet's new years eve party at her place. met up with my CISV friends. it was fun! we sang and dance and eat eat eat. haha. her dining table(s) was overflowing with food. ;p
i ended up staying at tante tetet's until 5am. well it was more like "numpang tidur bentar" hehe. then eko took us home and that's how i watch the first sunrise of 09 haha.
i got home at around 5:45am (the road was ridiculously empty haha). then i took a quick shower then sleep again (emang dasar kebo lu, nan!) at 6:30-ish until 12:30pm. HAHA. it's effing weird, really, having a morning nap HAHA. well i didn't really get a decent sleep at tante tetet's :p only managed to sleep for two hours. =D
well anyways. here's my resolutions (in no particular order):
1. hold on and let go :)
2. all grades above 7/10 !!
3. excellent extended essay first draft (HAHAHA)
4. be less bitchy and temperamental :p
5. write moooore !!
6. decide on universities and major(s).
7. more faithful (?) or at least find it (?)
8. GET TO SCHOOL BEFORE 7:15am AND THEREFORE NOT EVER TAKING THE STUPID STAIRS!!!
9. be more mature :)
10. REFRAIN FROM PROCRASTINATING!!!!
haha.
that's a lot. but hey, i got a whole year ahead of me. wish me luck, guys! :)
Labels: Thoughtful Thoughts, When Nandra Gets Philosophical
