Wednesday, July 08, 2009 // 6:01 PM
sometimes i wish that button exist in life. okay, sometimes is an understatement, most of the time, i want to press that button so badly, and not in my ipod and/or itunes.
i just got back from bali yesterday afternoon. on the plane, with a huge hangover and amidst the clouds, i closed my eyes and all i could see was the great times i've spent with my CISV lovelies: daryl, rasti, icha, rena and stevi on that island. i could see vividly the day we went to bebek bengil and ate two plates of crispy duck (yuuumm!). as well as the day we spent the entire day at the beach, getting tattoos, snorkeling, canoeing and taking amazing pictures. and the night when we sat around and opened up to each other, stripping off the black cloth that we've been hiding behind. i recalled the day we went shopping and did some serious bargaining. also the time when we had dinner under the sunset at jimbaran. and i could never forget the day we partied it up real hard, then met other crazy whackjobs who's as messed up as we were, probably even worst, in laota, this awesome porridge place. oh, not to forget when we partied in our bedroom and it got seriously messy and chaotic.
not a day goes by without me laughing my ass off, until tears welled up in my eyes. not of sadness, but of sheer, pure happiness. every single day, down to the last second, was very precious and filled my memory box with even more sweet stuffs :)
on the plane, i wanted to cry. this time, it wasn't happiness, it was sadness. sadness because i couldn't repeat this again. sadness because i'm afraid there are things i regretted during the trip, thank god to this moment i haven't found any (except maybe, i DO wanted to shop a bit more hahaha, classic). sadness because i'm afraid that i couldn't have this again.
at that moment, until now, i so badly want to press that repeat-one button. i want to re-live the 5 days i had on the island, down to the very last second, and repeat it over and over and over again. i know i'd never get bored of it :)
but sadly, i can't. just like every other moments where i had the same feeling.
truly, i didn't know that the trip to bali would be one of those moments where i'd feel this way. but then again, i once watched grey's anatomy and meredith grey said that:
"you don't know the biggest day of your life... not until you're right in the middle of it..."
this may not be the biggest day of my life, but i think it's fragments of the best days i've had in my life. and i truly believe in that quote, because i didn't know bali was gonna be one of those times where i'd desperately want to repeat, until i was in the middle of the trip.
so here's a piece of mind. live your days with hope for the best. it won't always turn out to be the best, so still, expect the worst. but keep in mind to have hope with you at all times. the worst might happen, and with expectation of the worst, you might get at slightly less dissapointed, but with hoping for the best to come, you'd soon forget about the dissapointment and realise that you're in the middle of having one of the best days of your life.
well you see, i'm not at best when i get rather philosophical, i tend to go round and round and a bit cryptic. but i do know you all understand what i'm trying to say.
so philosophies aside, here's some pics from the trip:
hope you've found your best(s)!
<3
Labels: CISV, Thoughtful Thoughts, When Nandra Gets Philosophical
