Monday, February 23, 2009 // 11:00 PM
The Planets Bend Between Us - Snow Patrol
The winters mar the Earth
It's floor was frozen glass
You slip into my arms
And you quickly correct yourself
Your freezing speech bubbles
Seem to hold your words aloft
I want the smoky clouds of laughter
To swim about me forever more
I will race you to the waterside
And from the edge of Ireland shout out loud
So they could hear it in America
It's all for you
The shells crack under our shoes
Like punctuation points
The planets bend between us
A hundred million suns and stars
The sea filled in this silence
Before you sank those words
And now even in the darkness
I can see how happy you are
I will race you to the waterside
And from the edge of Ireland shout out loud
So they could hear it in a America
It's all for you
It's all for you [x5]
Gary Lightbody's a fuckin' brilliant lyricist. I want him to make me a love song.
Well it's actually no wonder, he studied English Literature.
All the more reason for wanting him to make me a love song.
:)
I'm gonna fall asleep with this song.
Good night, guys :)
I want to show you the sunshine.
I want to show you the sunshine
I desperately do
I keep a pocketful of it,
waiting for the right time
I want to pull you out
I miserably do
I need to see you smile.
Even just for a while,
Even if it's crooked on one side
I want to show you the sunshine
I desperately do
Will you now just take my hand?
It's beautiful outside
I want to show you the sunshine
Will you let me?
jkt, 22 feb 09
9:42 PM
Labels: poems
Sunday, February 22, 2009 // 8:08 PM
i'm forcing myself to write again.
oh God it feels so good :)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 // 10:51 PM
i wonder how hard it is for me to get things done nowadays. i mean, seriously.
i have things all carefully planned. i tried, but to actually DO it is the hardest part of all planning stages.
i have heaps of things to submit in a matter of days. this week is seriously hectic. but i didn't manage to get a single thing done.
and when things aren't done i get frantic and frustrated.
and when i get frantic and frustrated, i malfunction.
and when i malfunction, i'm not able to do anything.
it's a devil's circle, really.
ofuck.
i used to find it rather easy, well ok not easy, but not that hard either, to write essays. ideas use to pour out of my head and straight to my pen so easily. but not lately. i've been trying to write the TOK essay and i've got the ideas alright. but i can't seem to write it all down.
don't get me wrong, despite the boring class, i like TOK, it's a very interesting subject.
but yeah, i dunno.
maybe i overthink things? my mom thinks i'm a perfectionist. well i dont think so, coz i dont want things to be perfect, i just want to get it done.
how can i be a perfectionist when i can't get things done right?
gaaaah. this is crazy.
and random too.
it's a devil's circle i tell you.
and i'm right in the center, with no way out.
Labels: random rants
Sunday, February 15, 2009 // 1:15 PM
No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?
St. Patrick's Day - John Mayer
ok, so the song above is not a valentine's song. but wth. it's a good song. and i know, vals day was ysterday, but i wanna write a valentine's post and i didn't have time ystrday. sooo here goes...
i'm not that into valentine's. everyone's out giving away chocolates and roses to their significant others. while i'm stuck in the blistering boredom of my own home. i just read my friend alvie's blog post about how lonely it could be being single on a valentine's day. i've never been in a relationship before, but the idea of it i actually love.
wouldn't it be great to have someone say i love you just because they want to and knowing that they truly feel that way towards you deep down inside? wouldn't it be great to have someone hold your hand so tight and know that they'd never let it go? and wouldn't it be great to have someone you'd leap into their arms after not seeing each other for what seems like a long time?
call me a hopeless romantic with severe cinderella syndrome, but cmon, don't we all wish for a bit of a fairytale fantasy every once in a while?
but then again, fairytales don't exist. it's written down by a Danish guy called Hans Christian Andersen. duh.
but yesterday i don't really dread valentines. because hey, they may not give me chocolates or whisper to my ears softly to tell me how much i mean to them. but i had a great valentine's because i was with the people i love.
see, love is a very broad term. often misused, even. so love doesn't always come from a significant other. but it's from everywhere. you'd be surprised of how much love you've given or recieved in one day. i think that being surrounded by my friends is lovely, and it made a great valentine's gift from me.
we had a priceless amount of fun during rama's bday last night. took incredulous pictures and acted like a kid with a severe case of hyperactivity disorder. so yeah, no one sent me a bouquet of calla lilies or red roses on valentine's day.
but someone did send me a bouquet full of love. :)
<3>
mijn liefje
my lovelies :)
Friday, February 13, 2009 // 6:50 PM
Paris Hilton's My New BFF, also known simply My New BFF, was an American reality television show in which Paris Hilton searched for her new BFF (best friend forever). 16 women and 2 men competed in challenges in an attempt to become her new best friend.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_Hilton's_My_New_BFF
it's so sad being a Hollywood socialite. you've got to make a hit reality (fake, red.) TV show to find a friend. whatever happened to true friends and friendship bracelets? whatever happened to being there as a shoulder to cry on and laughing stock?
this is so degrading.
and i so agree with this guy right here:
Paris Hilton's My New BFF (MTV, Tuesdays at 10 p.m.) is a ladies-in-waiting game show, a bubble-gum farce, a boot camp for red-carpet wannabes, a princess fantasy about princess fantasies, an insidiously snappy production. Therein, Miss Hilton, whose life's achievement has been to advance empty fame as performance art, holds auditions for a new pal. Thus, the program sparkles with a certain structural purity.
...
They demonstrate their worthiness as hangers-on by hanging out, and the program is giddy with their efforts. It's like watching children play—instead of house—Entourage.
...
What does she want from a "friend"? You have "to look hot in any situation"—hence the "Freestyle Posing" challenge, which asked the competitors to look like paparazzi-ready glamourpusses while riding a roller coaster. You must, like any true courtier, be skilled in flattery: There's a bit where the prospective friends make toasts to Paris and her mother over country-club mimosas, and the best of those speeches sound like the valedictorian's address at the Brown-Nose Vocational Academy. You've got to have confidence in your confidante: BFF's answer to a trust fall is a mandatory makeover.
...
full article here: [link]
oh, just so everyone understands, if it were me, i wouldn't be pathetic enough to join such show. i would problly be in the verge of suicide, not caring anymore about the value of life if ever i have a slightest tinge of wanting to be hilton's bff.
i'll just stick to the friendship bracelets, never ending fun, watching videos on youtube of our JAJA guys, eating mountains of sushis and eating pancakes. with my BFFs.
too bad for paris she only has one.
what a sick bitch.
Labels: social criticism; i.e. bitching about bitches
Thursday, February 12, 2009 // 10:48 PM
this is super cool.
we should support indonesian artists and our creative industry more. don't really ask me how, i'm still figuring it out myself. haha.
gotta get back to re-reading perempuan di titik nol.
the test's tmrw and i don't know shit.
ciao.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009 // 11:34 PM
Mood: Pissed. Confused. Destructive. All of the above.
Soundtrack of the day: Help! - The Beatles
MATH IS FUCKING WITH MY HEAD.
I WAS SO CLOSE DOWNLOADING ALPHABEAT'S ALBUM.
BUT I CLOSED THE FUGGIN' BROWSER.
NOW IT'S CANCELED.
PADAHAL TINGGAL 5 MENIT LAGI.
I'M TELLING YOU.
IT'S MATH MESSING WITH MY HEAD.
FUCK.
AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH.
DEAR GODDESS OF INTERNET PLEASE BLESS MY INTERNET CONNECTION SO I CAN DOWNLOAD THIS FAST.
AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH
Monday, February 09, 2009 // 10:04 PM
omg i can't believe i havent said anything about my birthday in this blog. wow. oh well i'm gonna start now. :p
sooo on the day of my bday, i got a very very pleasant surprise from my friends. they brought cake, in which filza's mom, filza, diga and ariani made. though i'm pretty sure filza, diga and ariani only crackd eggs or something hahaha. just kidding. ;) but really, the cake was amazing! i had three slices myself! hahaha.
it was really nicee. they took me to an empty class and we (me and gino, he had his 17th a few weeks before me) blew the candle and take pics and eat lots and lots of cake.
ohh and opened presents too! woo hoo!
man i love presents. and it was really nice too! i got two dresses and a pocket comb haha. more details and pics on that later guys. my internet's being a bitch. ;p
then on the 7th was the dinner. with a few of my cisv friends, whom i missed so damn much coz we havent met for a long long time. i think last time we met was... november 08? wow. after the dinner we went down to loewy and had a bit of a drink. then i went home with the headache the size of an iceberg haha. ok slightly hyperbolic it wasnt THAT bad. but yeah, it's still a headache haha.
well i'm sorry i'm not so descriptive or anything in writing this post. lately i've been coping with just so many things unexplainable. sometimes i get down for no apparent reason. but i could shift to being hyper, though i think it's just me denying everything, enshrouding the cracks under broken laughters and hyper acts.
though i didn't think these things have been heaving me so much until today that i finally decided to share it with someone. it was actually really reluctant to say a word about the things that's been bothering me. i felt like annabel greene in sarah dessen's just listen. like, her i can't speak up about my troubles and i don't do confrontations very well. in fact i'm very much bad at it. hmmm.
anyways, i didn't realize that it's actually been heaving me down so much until today when i broke down and cried when i talked to someone. it was hard getting the truth out and just say it blatantly.
but afterwards i felt that a weight has been lifted from me. i really don't mind that the tears streamed like crazy, coz holding it in for way too long just has been excruciating.
another day, another lesson.
i'm glad i did what i did today. i realized that i must be more mature now. and handling things like this and confrontations is a way of reaching maturity, no? life can turn into a bitch from a beach with just one snap of a finger and a single sentence. and worst, it'll get you when you're off guard.
it's hard. i know.
but i gotta cope.
somehow.
gnite, guys.
sorry for the suddenly gloomy post. :s
Labels: Thoughtful Thoughts
Sunday, February 08, 2009 // 9:51 PM
take my hand and let's venture this rigorous maze together.
'cause without you i'll never make it out alive.
Stripped down from my own skin.
I walk around with what's left
of this fractured skeleton.
In desperate search for something and someone.
Only to find nothing and no one.
jkt, 8 feb 09; 5:21 PM
Labels: poems
Saturday, February 07, 2009 // 1:43 PM
john ohhh writes poetries.
i love him even more. <333
Friday, February 06, 2009
 | St. Rodney Everett Samuel Smith
Current mood:mmmmmmmmmiss
Category: Life the smallest giant sits on my shoulders.
it won't leave me alone.
i asked for it's name, and it kept quiet.
i always wonder how they stay so silent. |
wanna share with ya'll my bday moments. but maybe not now? still kinda lazy haha.
cyew
Labels: starstruck.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009 // 9:06 PM
yeah. my last post as a 15-year-old. wow. i know, right? it sucks to know that you're getting older :S
but anyways.
the most scary part is knowing how much you chaged. for better or worse. and how you'd shed your previous skin and change again. and there'd be expectations that you'd change your bad habits as you'll get older.
the change is inevitable.
we all know that.
it's scary, still.
but yeah, i might have changed in a positive way. i'm quite able to think towards the middle now, i mean not thinking in the extremes. nothings all good or all bad, right?
i learned that friendship is so precious. like diamonds, it's rock solid and very very precious. all my friends from all over the corners of the world are precious. what's hard is keeping them close to you and to stay precious to others. i made more friends, from summer camp and jasparc, especially. and i will try whatever i can to stay in touch. coz i dont know how i'll cope if ever i lost them. :)
my family's precious too. although i know there are cracks here and there, it's everything to me. i learned a lot about my family throughout my 15th year in life. apparently i learned more that other previous years. some of the things i learned were like a huge atomic bomb that fell down on me, as if it was fat boy and i'm hiroshima. but i learned to acknowledge that what happened happened and there's no way to erase the past. most importantly, i learned that however big the cracks are, as long as we could still glue it together in some way, it'll all be okay. and i'll continue to hope so. :)
hmm what else?
well some things haven't change apparently, i.e. my procrastination habit. i think it's been going on for way too long haha. seriously. i think this time i'll ask a counsellor for help haha. i hope that by getting older i will get rid of that habit :p well you know what they say, old habits die hard, no?? hahaha.
i'm still bitchy from time to time. better hold that tounge, now. haha
my favorite colour's still red.
and i still love to read
hmmm.
i guess that's all i have to say. coz i'm running out of things to write about haha. well anyways. gotta go back to that BI homework i've been trying to work on. cya!
Labels: Thoughtful Thoughts
