it's nandra. they also call her nashz, the history of such name is way too long to elaborate in this little space. she's seventeen. she's a she. she lives a typical metropolitan lifestyle in the capital of Indonesia. she's currently in her senior year of high school, enduring the second and last year of IB Diploma Programme that's totally ruining her life slowly.
but she thinks the whole suffering would give her some sort of advantage in the (scarily) near future. she's a CISVer and lovin' every bit of it. oh, she also very much enjoys mango juice, she'd even prefer it than OJ haha. and while we're at it, yes, she might be random from time to time. she wishes you'd be quite patient about it. :)
♥
reading
writing
ear-friendly songs
pop art
photography
adobe photoshop cs3
Grey's Anatomy McSteamy :)
John O'Callaghan :)
novels by J.K Rowling, Judy Blume, Melissa de la Cruz & Sitta Karina
i'm super freaking ecstatic! oh yeah, baby!i can't believe that i'll be leaving in a matter of hours! gaaah. well so i'm leaving for the states tmrw. summer camp here i come! yeah!anyways so my plane leaves at 8.40 tomorrow, which means i gotta be there at around 6.00-6.30ish. well that's early, i know. but i just can't imagine all the amazing things that lies ahead. yes, that lies thousands of miles away from here, across the wide oceans and vast lands.
i can't wait for the fun, the things that i learn, meeting new people. aaaaahhhh!!! the excitement is just so crazy that i can't say anything else... just... cya people! i'll be back in a month! i know you'll miss me, so don't. buuuut then again, you'll miss me anyways sooooo... yeaaaaahh!! hahah. i'm starting to talk gibberish now bcoz of all the excitement!!
owell, so i'll be on a hiatus for 'round a month. so maybe i'll be 'neglecting' this blog for that period of time. unless i find a free internet service. hyahaha.
ciao!
Monday, June 16, 2008 // 11:48 PM
can't wait can't wait can't freakin' wait
not much happen today. but the only emotion that's been overwhelming me is sheer excitement. yes. i'm ecstatic as hell. i've been counting down the days till i go to the states for CISV's summer camp! OMFG!
the cortina, italy delegation just took off some two hours ago. and i just can't believe that i'm going in a week! omygod!! so super excited. there's something about cisv camps that is just... indescribable. it's the vibe, yknow... the fact that we're here in the same place and we have one same goal. to create peace. it's really good to know that you are with the people who cares about the world. and the fact that we, though maybe just a small part of the world, are willing to do something to make a change.
i have some fears though. though i've been in CISV for nearly two years now, i sometimes still have this difficulty to walk up to someone and say, "hi, i'm nandra, what's your name?" though it seems that it's the thing you'd say when you're four years old and met some other kid in a playgroud, sometimes i'm kinda hesitant to do that. so basically i'm scared that i'm not gonna be making the most of it in my camp.
BUT, i'm pretty optimistic, though! ;p
gaaaaahh, this is making me even more and more IMPATIENT! AARGGH.
well anyways, let's jump to another story. went to prototype camp today, to give something from mom to tante titiek. ended up staying there until lunchtime. helped mich and od with the still-in-awkward-phase kids and energizers (hi! my name is john! haha. love that energizer). it was really nice coz this time, they're inviting some kids with disabilities to come join the camp. which is super cool! i really really want to stay! haha.
but oh well, guess you can't have everything you wanted, no? ;p anyways, maybe i'll come up there again!
ciao!
Saturday, June 14, 2008 // 8:30 PM
aaah taik taik taiiiikk!!
here's what i think. i think that i take things for granted. and no, it's not good. not good at all. i should make more effort. everything seems to be served in a silver plate for me and i don't like that. yes, it may seem good, you get things BAM just like that. u ask this and that to your parents, then you'll get that. yeah, it's the goodlife and i should be thankful for that. but guess what, it didn't feel good inside... i really can't elaborate it in words (as does most the complicated feelings, yes, i'm a complicated person, and i accept that).
anyways, i just think that now that i'm 15 and two years to going to university, i should try to be more independent. maybe if i want something, i'll have to be the one to make an effort to get it. i wont ask for it. hmm. sounds like a resolution.
dunno how long the determination will stay though. yes, call me a hypocrite. well i'll try not to.
i'm bummed. ciao. <3
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 // 11:49 PM
Wear Sunscreen!
truly inspiring. :)
also see this [LINK] if it takes to long to load: [LINK]
video from: YouTube
Sunday, June 08, 2008 // 11:47 PM
it's funny how one 'thing', be it a feeling, secret or whatever, can be such an... attachment to your life, yourself. but when the glue isn't strong anymore, the 'thing' just hangs, and you have pull it hard to let it go.
it could be good. could feel nice. or not. kinda depends. i really don't have a definite answer to that.
but what i know is, there must be a time to let it go. let the secret out and just speak the truth. and from my experience it feels good. whoa, it does. it's like there's nothing else clogging up the bottom of your heart anymore. it's like, the cat's out of the bag. so be it.
i don't know how long the feeling will last though. i hope it'll last for quite a while. :)
so anyways, i've been a fond of this movement called PostSecret. i love how people could be so brave to expose their secret, even though it is sent anonymously. coz it's hard enough to actually admit a secret. kinds interesting, huh??
well, i'm having a hard time finding the essence of this post. ;p you can interpret it however you want to. haha.
oh, and the whole telling the truth and realising how great it is to actually say a 'thing' about myself happens at a truth or dare game.
haha. i find it bizzare. =P
Thursday, June 05, 2008 // 10:38 PM
TODAY so our so called recognition day took place. it was ok. rather boring, yet touching. coz i realised that it has been a year full of strive and togetherness. a year-long effort of not failing a test and not getting breaches. a year-long memories with 10a worth to be cherised.
speaking of 10a. we went to have our last get-together as 10a. it was SUPERFUN! went to karaoke in grand indonesia. it was CUR-AH-ZEE!! we sang and screamed at top of our lungs. not caring whether or not our voice was 'adequate', i knew mine wasn't. hahaha.
i was kinda dissapointed coz i can't stay long in GI. gotta met my summer camp delegation in senci. went there with busway (yes. it was quite excruciating.) and 1 hour late. haha. sorry guys!
anyways, talked about lotsa things. things to prepare for our trip, which is in two weeks. discussing and talking about it makes me more impatient and look forward to the summer camp! really really cant wait!
well i went straight home after that. coz my legs were killing me from the click five concert yesterday!!
YESTERDAY WAS THE BEST DAAAAAAAY EVUUUUURRRR!! went to the COOLEST concert!! COZ IT WAS CLICK FIVE, BABY!! YEAH YEAH YEAH!! KYLE IS BACK FOR MEEEEE!!
well aside from the fact that it was extremely asphyxiating to be in the festival, scrunched up like sardines along with hundreds of other people. but it was AWESOME! DA BOMB! IT WAS RAAAAD!!!
they opened with flipside! everyone was screaming and jumping and shouting. the ambience and vibe was soooo strong. i absolutely love it when they sang headlight disco! they had like a disco ball on stage and it created such a... fun, party atmosphere...which forced me to just jump, dance and move!! god, it was soooo fun!!
something crazy happened during the concert. well ben threw his towel out to the audience and everybody was like grabbing it. i grabbed it, along with 5 other guys and 1 tante2. the craziest thing is that someone took hold of my hand and pulled me along with the effing towel!
i was like, shit, hello! what, are you guys like, SO EFFING IN LOVE WITH BEN ROMANS OR SOMETHING??!!! coz i know i am! ;p
man, i bet they went all crazy just because they want to show off they got some famous artist's goodies!! good God!
and filza was like struggling to get their pick, but was stampeded (is that even a word?) by a whole bunch of other people! it was CRAZY, really...
well despite the fact that we didn't get ben's towel or kyle's/ethan's/joe's pick and joey's drumstick, the concert was just awesome. and besides, we had an even better, memorable, unforgettable moment with the click five. i mean, come on! filza and i actually chattedwith kyle! and I GAVE KYLE PATRICK A POEM!!! which was even more RAD than ben's towel or their pick. haha. well full details are available in my october 2007 post. hahaha.
well all in all, i had the best time ever in the past two days. i had a rad time with filza, watching the click five, then had the most unforgettable moment with 10A karaoke-ing!!
i'm really really gonna miss 10a. it was like, the best moment of the past year. i had the best classmates anyone could ever wish for. we were so... united. i bet no other class is as united as we are. i mean, everyone can hang out with anyone in the class. we could mingle with anyone, work with anyone, laugh, chat with every single one in the class. and i think it was marvelous. i couldn't ask for anything more. and there's gonna be a big hole in my heart now that we're gone our seperate ways (in a way of classes, not what you think of), chasing our dreams and aspirations. if any of you think i'm being a bit hyperbolic, well i'm not. i really feel that way, no matter how many times i deny it.
well, there's going to be a lot of cement needed to fill that hole again. and i'm sure that there's no better cement that 10a to fill that hole.
no. this post won't be pleasant. it'll be a series of rants of my awful, greusome day. and the factor of that is only two things. my asshole-ish math test and a certain someone. well the certain someone became the larger factor. coz i was somehow able to think positively about the outcomes of math test but this one... no no no. all that person cause is a ripple effect of shit. yes, note that people, a fat-load of shit. which ruined my day. made me take out my anger on other people. well forgive me people who i took out my anger to, blame [enter name here].
well anyways i just can't BELIEVE this person would do such thing. i mean like, f*ck, man! how many more times do i have to tell you??! coz this won't just affect you, but a bunch of other people! don't even think this is all about you. coz it isn't. fact is, nothing is. duh.
and to call me incompetent, whoa, take a look at yourself! get a mirror. dumbass. and to think that you're competent. well guess what, what good is being competent without having initiatives? won't get you anywhere, honey. jeez.
anyways, i can't stay angry forever. like my friend said, i gotta get myself back together and let it go (thx, dy. you da best ;p) however it was hard to do. but i spose i managed. at least i didnt take out my anger on more people. just had a pouty face until i'm home.
i can't help but get a manicure at the salon once i'm home. haha. was actually relaxing. i felt like flopping on one of their chairs and just shouted, "do me!". HAHAHA.
well anyways, been working on [yet another] writing project. this one's going very very smoothly lately. i guess it's some how more... "closer" to me. :)
wish me luck on that. :D ciao!
Sunday, June 01, 2008 // 8:34 PM
You were everything That's bad for me Make no apologies I'm crushed... Black and blue But you know I'd do it all again for you
we the kings - all again for you
i can't fight the feeling to say that those lyrics are so true. i mean, like, shit. that's what i'm doing, subconsiously. i can't help but feel that way. i mean, take a look at the lyrics. you were everything that's bad for me. i spose it explains enough! then why would i even risk getting bruised all over again.
it's shitty i know. and what's worst is that it's the past. cmon nandra! it's a century ago! let it go! gosh.
no matter how many times i tell myself, there's still that feeling. shit, it's crazy. eergh. better study maths again.
it rather excruciate myself with vectors rather than be suicidal and talk to him (and fill this empty heart with hope all over again, which is stupid, i know).
