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it's nandra. they also call her nashz, the history of such name is way too long to elaborate in this little space. she's seventeen. she's a she. she lives a typical metropolitan lifestyle in the capital of Indonesia. she's currently in her senior year of high school, enduring the second and last year of IB Diploma Programme that's totally ruining her life slowly. but she thinks the whole suffering would give her some sort of advantage in the (scarily) near future. she's a CISVer and lovin' every bit of it. oh, she also very much enjoys mango juice, she'd even prefer it than OJ haha. and while we're at it, yes, she might be random from time to time. she wishes you'd be quite patient about it. :)

♥
reading
writing
ear-friendly songs
pop art
photography
adobe photoshop cs3
Grey's Anatomy
McSteamy :)
John O'Callaghan :)
novels by J.K Rowling, Judy Blume, Melissa de la Cruz & Sitta Karina

manda ♥ febry ♥ rama ♥ op ♥ filza ♥ anya ♥ alvie ♥ mita ♥ ichel ♥ naiida ♥ della ♥ sevira ♥ icha! ♥ sarriiee ♥ rené ♥ cla ♥ rena ♥ sally ♥ mich ♥ ruben ♥ ray ♥ feli ♥ caren ♥ monica ♥ rina ♥

ms. karina's page ♠ ms. dessen's page ♠ ms. dessen's blog ♠ ms. rowling's page ♠ ms. dee's page ♠ billbeckett's page ♠ blogskin ♠ prambors ♠ MTV EXIT ♠ thinkMTV ♠ postsecret ♠ perez hilton ♠ teen reads ♠ kambing jantan ♠ Mr.A-Z ♠ overword ♠ hrrrthrrr ♠ crushd. ♠ dave horvitz ♠ ngupingjakarta ♠

iTeddy the music-playing bear luuurves music. he listens to it all day long! :p

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

last but not least...
endpoint.
yet another dilemma of choices
I SURVIVED IB!
missing feelings.
apparition.
reasons why i want summer
Even though I'll never need her,Even though she's ...
pengen belajar animasipengen belajar fotografipeng...
today...

May 2006 ♣ June 2006 ♣ July 2006 ♣ August 2006 ♣ September 2006 ♣ October 2006 ♣ November 2006 ♣ December 2006 ♣ January 2007 ♣ February 2007 ♣ March 2007 ♣ April 2007 ♣ May 2007 ♣ June 2007 ♣ July 2007 ♣ August 2007 ♣ September 2007 ♣ October 2007 ♣ November 2007 ♣ December 2007 ♣ January 2008 ♣ February 2008 ♣ March 2008 ♣ April 2008 ♣ May 2008 ♣ June 2008 ♣ July 2008 ♣ August 2008 ♣ September 2008 ♣ October 2008 ♣ November 2008 ♣ December 2008 ♣ January 2009 ♣ February 2009 ♣ March 2009 ♣ April 2009 ♣ May 2009 ♣ June 2009 ♣ July 2009 ♣ August 2009 ♣ September 2009 ♣ October 2009 ♣ November 2009 ♣ December 2009 ♣ January 2010 ♣ February 2010 ♣ March 2010 ♣ April 2010 ♣ May 2010 ♣

"It is finished."
was what Aslan said as he held high the White Witch's staff up in the air, marking her death. The evils threw scared looks and scatter as they exit the stage...

So, it's finished. Narnia. it's done.
we auditioned.
we were chosen.
we rehearsed.
we threw a remarkable show.
yeah.

truth be told, i really miss the good times and bad times we (the cast and crew) have been through. especially when we did the show. i love the magic we created on stage. sure, there were some mistakes, e.g set people put on the wrong set, delaying the next scene; props being left on the stage. come to think of it, we laugh about it now. ;p

i really love being on stage. at first i thought i'll be all stage fright, forgot my blocking etc etc. but it seems that since i've done this, practically everyday for the past 8 months, everyting seems natural for me. walking on the stage felt like walking from the bathroom to my bedroom plus the dramatic expression and such. haha. so, miraculously, the stage fright was nonexistent. thank God for that. haha. ;p

anyway, there's this one other thing that comes across my mind. without me realising, i've actually fulfil one of my dreams. haha. funny, huh? well, it just occured to me, that whenever i'm in gkj, or anywhere where there's a stage for that matter, i really really wanted to be up there too. to be the star instead of the spectator for a change.
and last night.
i got my wish.
through my tireless effort and willingness.

soooo i'm really really happy! ;)
i want to be on stage agaaaaiiin! huhu. i miss my fellow narnians!
esp. tasya, elle and jazz! we won't be able to gossip as frequent as we use to anymore! ahahha.
i love you NARNIANS! <333

oh, and i really need to thank mr. c, my drama teacher & director, coz by letting me be in the play, i hope that i've become a better actor.

smiles and all my narnian loves,
nandra - child of nature :)

Oh. My. God.
Like, when was the last time i posted? haha. so frickin' busy man. everyday i went home and flopped down on my bed. just like that. no questions asked.

so today i went to gedung kesenian jakarta for dress (& tech) rehearsal. it was massive!
once i got in the backstage i felt the chills creeping down from my neck to my whole body. my heart beats 100x faster than it should be.
the chills and heart beat gets faster as i stepped foot on the stage.
wow.
i remembered the last time i went to gedung kesenian, i was up on the balcony.
and guess what?
now i'm on the stage. how cool is that?
as i was on the stage, it was a completely different atmosphere like no other.

to be honest, i've only been on stage two times my whole life (not counting the drama room stage!). and the other time was my piano recital years ago. and it's a totally different feeling when i was on the stage of gkj. i have to say, i love being on stage. cos when i'm on the stage, i'm not me. i'm whoever-my-character-is.
aaah.
it just feels SO good to finally be on the stage.
so the show's tomorrow and i'm totally nervous. i count on God of what's gonna happen tomorrow. just hope that he answers my prayers so that we'll have a fantabulous show tomorrow. ;)

ciao!

long time no post. ;p
school has been SOOO hectic. what with the narnia rehearsals and exams coming up. seems like the pressure's never ending.

well, so i had a moderate weekend. nothing special really. started the weekend with a 7:00AM to 2:30PM (turns out to be 1:30! yayh! ;p) narnia rehearsal. then filza and i strolled aimlessly like lost kids in PS. haha. i don't know why we go there, well i ate there, just that hehe.

anyways, i watched the game plan at 7:30PM with my dad and bro. the movie has succeed to drain myself in tears. it's very touching really. made me realise how important my dad is to me (he cried to fyi. he's a big weeper. ;p). i kinda forgot when was the last time i said "I love you, dad." to him. it makes me wanna cry even more knowing that i take things for granted from him. :'(

hey, here's something interesting to close this post. just like in the movie when peyton asks her dad what was the best thing that ever happened to him, i asked my dad the same question. he answered it with one simple word...

"You."

awh. i love my dad. :)

ok, here's the sitch. the previous post, let's just say, i take it back.

i was just reflecting on my achievements. 'specially in my writing. i opened the folder where all my stories are and guess what. NONE and i mean, NONE of them is finished. none of them come to a point of completion.

and i hated myself for that. and i feel like a failure. i mean, what is it that i've done in the past fourteen years of my life that come to a point of completion and satisfaction? aside from school, homeworks and essays that is. what i meant is the things that i'm so passionate about. like yeah, creative writing.

so i was just so mad at myself for never completing. i wrote numerous stories already, some come to a point of completion, though only a few come to my satisfaction. ;p

but the main reason for taking the previous post back is because i realised that i have actually finished something. well, maybe not exactly finished but i kept it for long and know that i will never forget about it.
which is...
surprisingly...
this blog...

yeah, i only come to that point of realisation a few minutes ago. ;p
i mean, i've kept this blog for over a year now and, though it may not be in a point of completion, but it has definitely crossed the satisfaction line...

i feel so relieved to actually realised something like this.
anyways.
it's funny how your point of view of some certain things can change in a matter of minutes, no?

oh well, i just feel that i need to say what's been on my mind. and this is where i think it's best to let it all out. :)

cheers, everyone.
have a wonderful weekend. ;)

Labels: Thoughtful Thoughts

i hate myself for never finishing what i started.

owh, f**k this!

sometimes i feel like i have this disability. that i can't feel.
ok, i know it sounds really creepy. but everything just seems so numb.
i don't know why. is my life that empy? that monotone?
nah, i don't think so. but maybe for the time being, it is. sorta.
arrh.

guess what i've been doing...
i actually looked at some universities. haha. i know, it's a long long time away. but i think i should start looking now. or at least find out where i'll be going if i take this major or that major. and the possibilities of taking double majors. etcetera. etcetera.

thinking of my future sometimes scares the shit out of me. *pardon my swearing, haha*
i mean, duh! what if i chose the wrong path and ended up as a hobo??!! aarh.

ok those are just some random ramblings. don't mind them. 'specially the hobo part.
it's late, people!

gnite.

Labels: Thoughtful Thoughts

shit, smua printer gw rusak!
could this day just get any worse??!!

is it me or the new template is kinda dull? hh. watever. i fell in love with the picture. haha. and the great escape is a very very great song.
and i love love love boyslikegirls.
'specially paul digiovanni! oh! yet another band hottie! :)
don't feel like posting anything today.

i spose i had a bad day. i'm SO pissed at my maths teacher for giving us the wrong hint during the investigation! yet they don't want to admit it!
and during narnia, i hardly did anything! i really hate it when someon told me to do something but then i ended up doing nothing anyways! i mean, that is wasting my time! however, i'm already commited to this. sooo, there's nothing i can do about it..

anyways, THRILLER tomorrow! yaaayy, costume partyy! finally! PARTAAAYY!! :D
oritey. cya! :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Added 9:58 PM)
thought i should post this...:

ok. somehow memang agak aneh endingnya. hehe.
eniweis. gw ga pernah ngasi tau arti dari poem2 yg gue tulis. sooo maybe is should for this one. cos i sorta want people to understand what it's about... oh well, just read on people!

it's about a girl, who was cheated by her boyfriend/lover/husband/companion/watever you wanna call the guy in this poem. ;p
simple i know. hahas.

bait pertama: tentang how that girl was replaced by another ["is that her side of the bed? that was once mine to have"]

bait kedua: how she feels that everything is just a lie ["inconsequential glances and clandestine kisses"] and she also realised that their love is poisonous. yaaa gt lah..

bait ketiga: her lover is always hiding things from her, lying and things ["you're always hiding under harlequin masks"]. she's saying to him that he doesn't have too, she already knows anyway ["baby you don't have too, it's already unveiled"]...

bait keempat: tells that she'd rather have it all thrown away [bite me... kill me...] that being hurt again and again. it won't matter anyway, coz their love for each other is already dead ["the candle's flame no longer burns"]...

yea.. dat's about it..
sepertinya gw terinspirasi dari cerita Raumanen. hehehe.

Labels: High School Remedies, poems, Thoughtful Thoughts