Tuesday, November 25, 2008 // 9:50 PM
okay my mind is saturated with chemistry formulas. meh, call me a geek for all i care, but i dont wanna mess this up. God, i loathe exams. but then again who doesnt =S
ok so anyways i don't wanna make this pointeless, i'm tired of pointless posts hahas. ok so lately i've been thinking a lot about my future. which creeps the hell out of me. i mean seriously, i just can't imagine what i'll be like, 5-10 years in the future. i'd like to imagine myself being successful and shit but sometimes that image isn't projected in my head. it kept on being hazed by what-ifs and negativity. eeergh it's scarry.
so one of the decisions i made that might in a way affect my future is my subject change. yes, i dropped business and moved to art. and i'm currently processing the movement. at one point, i think my dad disagrees with my choice. but business is just not what i thought it would be. it's not... me. it's not something that i would like to learn. i mean, really i don't care about how to budget and shitz. and i find the subject hypocritical. everything ends up to 'how-to-get-more-money' or in sophisticated business terms: 'how-to-increase-your-profit-margin'.
i mean, i've always appreciated art -- probly more than my parents does. i love it. every aspect of it. i used to draw and paint, but have left the easel for so long. i love creating, so i thought that art would be perfect. :) despite the plethora of works i have to get done. but in the end, it all comes down to what i like doing. i hold the principle of:
better to do a lot of things in something that you love, rather than doing little on something that you hate. i know i'm bad at deadlines, time management and handling a lot of works... but i'll learn in the process of it. so i'm pretty much optimistic about it.
now what worries me is what major i want to take. journalism is still on the top of my list. but i spose i'm considering other options. i have this repressed dream of being a show director. haha really, i do. it was after watching the EMA, btw. and i'm considering to major in the arts field -- fashion, maybe? or interior design?? hmmm...
another thing that worries me is what my parents will think about the field of work i'll eventually choose. i know they repeatedly say that what they want is for me to be happy in whatever it is that i do, but of course they must have at least a hint of expectation. my dad is seriously trying to lure me into law school or economics. it's implicit, but i know he wants me to go to law school. but at this point in time it's not in my list. it was ages ago, and it was based on my naive-ness as a child to follow my parents' foot steps.
and that makes the choice even harder. hmmm... well so maybe it's still kind of early for me to be thinking about this stuff but it's been kind of bothering me a bit. and a lot of people have continuously asked me:
"what major will you take?" and all those shitz. i'd really like to someday come up with a firm, definite answer to that question...
yeah, someday. :)